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February 28, 2022

i don’t know my name

tap tap tap. . . is this thing on?

 

I keep thinking a big explanation is needed, but the more I stew over the explanation, the more I realize I’m the only one stewing over the big explanation. So here I am, sitting down to type with one goal in mind – – –  to hit publish! Ironically enough, I had to reset my password to even get into my blog to write this brain dump. So naturally, SOME DUSTING IS GOING TO BE NEEDED. But here we are, showing up + ready to try. I am here and I am trying to write again. So today I celebrate that.

How does one recover from 8 years of social media burn out?
WOOOF
First, see it. Sounds dumb + more simple than it should – but I denied it all + fought through the burn out for years. Thought I was too far in over my head. The money is too good. You’ll never gain momentum if you stop. The sponsors aren’t understanding. My manager is an angel. ALLL THE THINGS to support why the show couldn’t stop. When in all reality, this is what I wanted. More than anything else.

Grateful my heart finally caught enough momentum to convince my brain that it had absolutely had enough. That was a job in itself. But believe it or not, once I stopped, the habits + the guilt + the pressure that I had created in my own head didn’t stop on queue either. Annoying as crap. This is taking work, too.

I have been kinda wanting to share a little back story on my absence, because I’d be curious if a friend I care about left without warning, not because I owe anyone an explanation. 😉 Life has been full steam ahead since Jack was born. He turns 6 in July. Really since we uprooted from Salt Lake. I’m a busy body at heart, but the things that used to bring me joy, (photography, styling, design, gatherings) were leaving me more empty than ever. I think my @gparrish team saw it way before I did. They carried me as long as they could + I love them for it. Same with my @gigipip family. If there is one lesson at the base of all of this – it’s the group of kind hearted humans who see me exactly as I am. Who carried me when I couldn’t keep going. That is not something I take for grated. But at then end of the day, I think people are only able to love + meet us with as much as we give ourselves. Let that one sink.

In hindsight, there were several super tender life moments where I felt a bigger picture than what I was living day to day. Sitting with my sweet dad in the ICU, living out of an an airbnb while we waited to pass our final inspection, etc. My mind thought I was thriving, my heart knew I wasn’t. I knew deep down I was holding on by a very very very thin thread. What is it about these living on a prayer moments where we are pleading we make it to the next fuel station – that the real transformation happens? Life is put into perspective. What is it about these monumental moments that take us to the deepest place of understanding. Somewhere between then + now, I gave myself full permission to slow my stroll. To stop sharing. To rest. To analyze what my purpose is on + off line.

As authentic + aligned as my life feels on the inside right now – – – I hope that it transpires online in the same fold. I’d love to start an influencer recovery program haha but I’ll save that for another space + put my money on Beth saving all of us before I ever get around to that. Speaking of Beth – she is my life coach + honest to goodness, the best thing to happen to me as an adult. I called her last July. I think? (I’ve never been good with dates anyways so maybe ask her to verify our actual start date if you’re taking me super serious rn hahah) I remember being parked outside one of my biggest campaign shoots to date + desperately fighting back my tears so my make up wouldn’t run all over the place – asking her how this life coaching thing works + what on earth is wrong with me. I didn’t know how to tell her who I was or what I was doing with my life. Especially when everything was going so right?? We have met every week since + she’s helped guide me through the muck of it all.

What am I even talking about? Good question. I didn’t realize how far I’ve come until recently. I have given myself time to breathe + align my goals as a human being, as a mother, as a friend, and as a business owner. I am truly here fighting to be the friend to myself that I am to others. To love myself EXACTLY as I am. Self love feels cliche + is a phrase that is thrown around everywhere now days, but it’s special to me. It’s easy to talk about, hard to do. But I am here – because I love to write + want to prioritize showing up authentically online. I want to show up as me. A typically boring, soft hearted, soft spoken woman who loves hats – as myself. Because I know there is room. I’ll always be a work in progress. A recovering perfectionist people pleasing softie. But trust me – I’ll still be me as a granny just out here chipping away at the deep soul work BECAUSE It’s the soul work that makes life worth living! If you ask me!

I LOVE YOU if you’re still here. I love you if you have moved on. I can’t promise I will be able to keep up on links as for the first time in 5 years – I am a one man band around here. But that don’t matter. I am grateful for the path I’ve taken to get stronger. For my time away in finding my footing + grounding myself in the things that have always mattered the most to me. So whether you’re going through the thick of it, thriving, or both – you’ve got a friend in me. We got this!

LOVE YOUUUUUU!

xx, GP

 

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37 thoughts on “i don’t know my name”

  1. This was ever i needed to read tonight 🤎you gAve Hope & meaning through every word…keep shining!!

  3. With tears in my eyes, thank you thank you for your beautiful words and continued inspiration. Truly love you, friend!

  5. Hey its Autumn From kimballcreative. Im pumped for you! Social media has provided a generation of mormon wOman a way to make miney and build businesses while being a mom… its been impressive to watch. Im a little wrinklY compared to you and older so know i sound old. But we got offered a show not once but 4 times… endless ENDORSEMENTS etc. and we needed the money at first. But my wake up call to knowing i had one shot. One life. One chance to Raise my boys. Happened to me early. And ever since i know i cant and wont afford COMPROMISING that gift. I still do a ton but i cant have the stress of making it look pretty and people having something to say about it… im not strong enough nor dO i want to endure that. And you dont have to either. Ill tell you a secret: people are impressed by the 3% effort tgey dont even need to know that you only allow tHem access to 3% of you…. The rest is for your MARRIAGE your kids… what really matTers. So if you read this im pumped for you. Its a good life keep it for you. Im always here if you want to connect

  7. I absolutely loved reading thIs. (No idea why this comment is in caps im sorry 😂). I am so glad you are feeling grounded, social media can sweep the rug right under youR feet and Make it challenging to see There There are “other ways”. Sending you all the love. ❤️

  9. Missed you And (emphasis On and) love you – No expectations whatsoever. Live your life! Let Us find our own links for a bunch of years, youve earned it! Lol Hope you find a balance because youre the Bestest. Make the money dont let the money make you 😉

  10. Your words are so eloquent, that is a gift. A gift to That you were able to pull back for your own good. But what do you mean you are a one man band?

  11. Ginger,
    From the first time i ever came across your page i have been inspired By you. I started following you right around the time jack was born. Ive fangirled over the few messages we’ve shared back and forth on insta, and ive literally told my hUsband many times that i feel like we’d be best friends if we ever met. Because you are so genuine And lovely and real and true. And i love That You are doing what is best for you and showing up for yourself the way you show up for us who have been a tiny part of your world. I am praying for you as you continue on and cheering for you always! 🙂

  13. Love YoU for loVing Yourself and for being Vulnerable enough to share that aLl with us. YoU’re amAzing. You’ve got this. Take all the time you need; we will be right here waiting to cheer you on… while we start working on ourseLves, as well. Thank you.

  14. Love you so much GP. Your heart + soul come across so pure online and in person. Take the TIme and put bo limits on it! because as i alwaYs remind myself, my phone Doesnt get to go with me to heaven. Yes, your influence has an impact But its not eternal.

  17. i love this post so much. I Have followed you and Many Accounts like yours foR years – within the past coupke years, 2 of my favorite “InfluEncers” just fell of IG comeplEtely without a good bye or blog post like yours.. and not that they “did it wrong” or owe me anything, but It’s jusT that i almost worry abOut them and wAnt to maKe sure they’re ok…And then, would be hapPy to let them go…bc it does seem really really All coNsuming to be on IG all the time, giVing your life to it. Please know that your time on IG helped distRact me (in a positiVe way!!) from sOme chaLlenging times in my life and i reallY Truly appreciate you Putting yourself out Here. And if youR time here has come to an end, i very much apprecite this goodbye-ish post. 🧡🧡🧡 why is this all in caps? Xo

  18. YOU ARE AMAZING!! Just the way you are! I admire you so much and will keep cheering you on 👏🏼👏🏼🤟🏼

  22. these are some inspired words ging!! i can definitely relate. you are truly the most inspirational and loving person out there. i’m lucky to know you 🙂 thanks for being vulnerable!

    xxx,
    love ya!

  23. lovely mama,
    i’ve been following your blog for years and the reason i loved it so much was the way you were able to make simple family life so magical! for the magic of you! and your family. not stuff.
    i’m glad that you’re slowing down and leaning into giving yourself the space and time to live and love!

  24. Thanks for being so raw. So much more authentic when we are able to just BE ourselves. You are a joy to follow💕

  26. GINGER PARRISH!!! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR HEART, SOUL AND MIND!!! Thank you for SHARING this <3

  28. Just one day at a time.
    I recently found out that I have Rheumatoid arthritis.
    The one & only 1 good thing I’ve learned so FAR is to start each new day doing & accepting only what my body can do that day & that day only.
    Tomorrow is a brand new day full of opportunities. I missed you friend💗

  29. LOVE THIS FRIEND! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING SO INCREDIBLY VULNERABLE AND SHARING! IT’S COMFORTING TO KNOW A FELLOW SISTER OUT THERE FEELS ALL THE SAME THINGS YOU’RE GOING THROUGH AND NOT TO FEEL SO ALONE. LOVE YOU! ❤️

  30. So beautiful. I have always loved seeing everything you have Shown with the world. I even went to lunch with yOu FOREVER ago with shelby osmond. (Im so special)ever since then, iVe admired you. But the most admiration yet has been now! How beautiful and Strong You are. I suppoRt you even more!! Keep showing up for yOurSelf the way you need Yourself to! Love to you!

  31. Good for you lady, i was drawn to your account for your #youandme posts and the witty way you wrIte. Youre adorable and unique ans onky wish we could be fRienDs in the everyday lIfe.

  32. Hi ginger!!!
    So happy to hear from you. I have been think of you and your family. Its great that you took tHe time to reSet and rEaliGn. Its Thw beSt thing you could for Yourself and your loVed onea. Your words have made so much sense to me. I mYself have been in thE thick oF it as My hUsband is Fighting cancer. As a family It has been hard…. BUt we are here toGether to Fight. I lookf forward to seeing or hearing fRom you and your sweet Family. You are doing the right thing
    God bleSs… caThy

  33. Love this!❤️ Thanks for your vulnerability, Ginger! So good. Sending a Hug and a hIgh five!!

  34. Sweet Ginger,
    Thank you for sharing your heart. We only met once at a spring at the siloS event in 2019 & i cOuld tell that you Are the most genuine person. I have been wondering where you were on SM but praying that everything was alright & that you’ve been abLe to get some good Rest. Praying that continues for you & your family. Xx wendy

  35. As a loNgtime follower, it became So obvious that you were hitting burnout a few years ago when you started posting multiple times a day on Instagram and all those gift guides and links here on the blog. I could tell you had gotten an agent and weren’t doing it because you loVed it anymore. It made me sad for you, but i knew the temptation had to be hUge since the money is (obviously) so good. Anyway, i’m happy foR you for taking your lIfe back and hope you will be aBle to enjoy this outlet again someday. We’ll still be here-because we STARTED following you for your OPTIMISM and Fun ideas, not links to sneakers and sunless tanner. 😉

  36. Thank you for sharing! Its ok to put yourself first. I jad to learn that thw hard way too. It gets better. I think. I hope. Heres To things getting better when you let go of expectations others put on us. I followed your journey since the very fIrst days of your first blog post. Back when this was a fun venture and for connecting to other moms trying to find their purpose. I appreciate all you shared. We can lose ourselves so quickly if wE forget the reason we began a path on the first place. Take time to find your own path. One that resonates and brings you real joy. You aeem to be on Your way.

  37. Thank you for sharing! Its ok to put yourself first. I Had to learn that thE hard way too. It gets better. I think. I hope. Heres To things getting better when you let go of expectations others put on You. I followed your journey since the very fIrst days of your first blog post. Back when this was a fun venture and for connecting to other moms trying to find their purpose. I appreciate all you shared. We can lose ourselves so quickly if wE forget the reason we began a path on the first place. Take time to find your own path. One that resonates and brings you real joy. You Seem to be on Your way.

    Edited for typos

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