{"id":22198,"date":"2022-02-28T18:43:01","date_gmt":"2022-03-01T01:43:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/?p=22198"},"modified":"2022-02-28T18:49:10","modified_gmt":"2022-03-01T01:49:10","slug":"i-dont-know-my-name","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/i-dont-know-my-name\/","title":{"rendered":"i don&#8217;t know my name"},"content":{"rendered":"<p style=\"text-align: center;\">tap tap tap. . . is this thing on?<\/p>\n<p>\u00a0<iframe loading=\"lazy\" frameborder=\"0\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/embed\/track\/4G9addS7Yq5ihZBQLXG2Mj\" width=\"900\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>I keep thinking a big explanation is needed, but the more I stew over the explanation, the more I realize I&#8217;m the only one stewing over the big explanation. So here I am, sitting down to type with one goal in mind &#8211; &#8211; &#8211;\u00a0 to hit publish! Ironically enough, I had to reset my password to even get into my blog to write this brain dump. So naturally, SOME DUSTING IS GOING TO BE NEEDED. But here we are, showing up + ready to try. I am here and I am trying to write again. So today I celebrate that.<\/p>\n<p>How does one recover from 8 years of social media burn out?<br \/>\n<em>WOOOF<\/em><br \/>\nFirst, see it. Sounds dumb + more simple than it should &#8211; but I <em>denied<\/em> it all + fought through the burn out for years. Thought I was too far in over my head. The money is too good. You&#8217;ll never gain momentum if you stop. The sponsors aren&#8217;t understanding. My manager is an angel. ALLL THE THINGS to support why the show couldn&#8217;t stop. When in all reality, this is what I wanted. More than anything else.<\/p>\n<p>Grateful my heart finally caught enough momentum to convince my brain that it had absolutely had enough. That was a job in itself. But believe it or not, once I stopped, the habits + the guilt + the pressure that I had created in my own head didn&#8217;t stop on queue either. Annoying as crap. This is taking work, too.<\/p>\n<p>I have been kinda wanting to share a little back story on my absence, because I&#8217;d be curious if a friend I care about left without warning, not because I owe anyone an explanation. \ud83d\ude09 Life has been full steam ahead since Jack was born. He turns 6 in July. Really since we uprooted from Salt Lake. I&#8217;m a busy body at heart, but the things that used to bring me joy, (photography, styling, design, gatherings) were leaving me more empty than ever. I think my @gparrish team saw it way before I did. They carried me as long as they could + I love them for it. Same with my @gigipip family. If there is one lesson at the base of all of this &#8211; it&#8217;s the group of kind hearted humans who see me exactly as I am. Who carried me when I couldn&#8217;t keep going. That is not something I take for grated. But at then end of the day, I think people are only able to love + meet us with as much as we give ourselves. Let that one sink.<\/p>\n<p>In hindsight, there were several super tender life moments where I felt a bigger picture than what I was living day to day. Sitting with my sweet dad in the ICU, living out of an an airbnb while we waited to pass our final inspection, etc. My mind thought I was thriving, my heart knew I wasn&#8217;t. I knew deep down I was holding on by a very very very thin thread. What is it about these living on a prayer moments where we are pleading we make it to the next fuel station &#8211; that the real transformation happens? Life is put into perspective. What is it about these monumental moments that take us to the deepest place of understanding. Somewhere between then + now, I gave myself full permission to slow my stroll. To stop sharing. To rest. To analyze what my purpose is on + off line.<\/p>\n<p>As authentic + aligned as my life feels on the inside right now &#8211; &#8211; &#8211; I hope that it transpires online in the same fold. I&#8217;d love to start an influencer recovery program haha but I&#8217;ll save that for another space + put my money on Beth saving all of us before I ever get around to that. Speaking of Beth &#8211; she is my life coach + honest to goodness, the best thing to happen to me as an adult. I called her last July.\u00a0I think? (I&#8217;ve never been good with dates anyways so maybe ask her to verify our actual start date if you&#8217;re taking me super serious rn hahah) I remember being parked outside one of my biggest campaign shoots to date + desperately fighting back my tears so my make up wouldn&#8217;t run all over the place &#8211; asking her how this life coaching thing works + what on earth is wrong with me. I didn&#8217;t know how to tell her who I was or what I was doing with my life. Especially when everything was going so right?? We have met every week since + she&#8217;s helped guide me through the muck of it all.<\/p>\n<p>What am I even talking about? Good question. I didn&#8217;t realize how far I&#8217;ve come until recently. I have given myself time to breathe + align my goals as a human being, as a mother, as a friend, and as a business owner. I am truly here <em>fighting to be the friend to myself that I am to others.<\/em> To love myself EXACTLY as I am. Self love feels cliche + is a phrase that is thrown around everywhere now days, but it&#8217;s special to me. It&#8217;s easy to talk about, hard to do. But I am here &#8211; because I love to write + want to prioritize showing up authentically online. I want to show up as me. A typically boring, soft hearted, soft spoken woman who loves hats &#8211; as myself. Because I know there is room. I&#8217;ll always be a work in progress. A recovering perfectionist people pleasing softie. But trust me &#8211; I&#8217;ll still be me as a granny just out here chipping away at the deep soul work BECAUSE It&#8217;s the soul work that makes life worth living! If you ask me!<\/p>\n<p>I LOVE YOU if you&#8217;re still here. I love you if you have moved on. I can&#8217;t promise I will be able to keep up on links as for the first time in 5 years &#8211; I am a one man band around here. But that don&#8217;t matter. I am grateful for the path I&#8217;ve taken to get stronger. For my time away in finding my footing + grounding myself in the things that have always mattered the most to me. So whether you&#8217;re going through the thick of it, thriving, or both &#8211; you&#8217;ve got a friend in me. We got this!<\/p>\n<p>LOVE YOUUUUUU!<\/p>\n<p>xx, GP<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<div class=\"ujudUb WRZytc\"><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p class=\"excerpt\">tap tap tap. . . is this thing on? \u00a0\ufeff I keep thinking a big explanation is needed, but the more I stew over the explanation, the more I realize I&#8217;m the only one stewing over the big explanation. So here I am, sitting down to type with one goal in mind &#8211; &#8211; &#8211;\u00a0&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":22200,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[599],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/Gparrish-23.jpg","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5mhS8-5M2","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22198"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=22198"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22198\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":22206,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/22198\/revisions\/22206"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/22200"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=22198"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=22198"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/theparrishplace.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=22198"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}