so there i was

driving to gold’s gym yesterday morning, with every single intention of working out.
that gym pass that i mentioned 6 months ago, ya it’s still active and only been used twice.
not only is it a gym pass, it’s a VIP pass with full day care.
most of my gym mama colleges are jumping for joy.
we drove all the way to the bountiful location in the truck. it kind of feels more like a 16 wheeler.
the bountiful gym is more appealing than the sugar house one so it’s worth the drive.
irrelevant sidenote: jon took my car to work because the honda currently resides in our driveway without a bumper.

when we pulled in i looked in my rear view mirror and jonah was dead asleep.
i couldn’t do it!
i just c o u l d  n o t do it, you guys.
what is wrong with me? dropping him off at any day care almost killllls me.
will it ever get easier? i swear something is wrong with me.
it’s whatever.
the place is like the ultimate glorified nursery, sanitized better than a hospital,
and the darling lady that run the show walked straight out of parenting magazine.
just a bit more darling + real as real can be.
not to mention she loves jonah.
but i couldn’t do it today.
i whipped a 92 point turn about and got right back on the freeway.
maybe i’ll try again tomorrow. or something.

next thing i know, i’m in mah work out clothes
at city creek baby gap,
without a stitch of make up and this song comes on.

i lost it. i had the the ugly cry goin’ for a good three minutes.

“have you ever looked fear in the face and said i just don’t care?”

once in a while without warning a song will interrupt my life
and take me back to a place in time that i had almost forgotten about.
this time it was so quick, i barely knew what hit me.

//  i miss you sue. i’m sorry that i had to miss your reception.
this song always makes me think of you, and i love you more than words can describe.
you were the happiest bride i have ever seen in my whole life.

//  jonah is growing up so fast. he can run faster than me on my knees,
and puts his own books back on the shelf.

//  jon is officially taking monday’s off so we can hang out after long working weekends away from home.

// web school is owning me.

//  is it time to have another babe?

//  i miss morgan who i never get to see. like ever.

//  it’s homecoming week everywhere, and i just want to be a cheerleader again.
whaaaaat? ya i just admitted that out loud. in ink. in public. judge me!

//  my dad turns 50 tomorrow and all i want to do is drive to logan + surprise him.

i have so much to be grateful for + obvi many things to cry about.

i apologize for being emo.
the unknown has always scared me.
i have a buch of new adventures on my plate and quite frankly i’m scared out of my mind.
i guess it’s time to chuck a couple of fistfuls of glitter in the air.

here’s to fear. here’s to being brave. here’s to finding happiness along the way.