Days like today remind me of what’s truly important in life.
Days like today remind me to hold my loved ones a little bit tighter + to never leave without a hug.
Days like today remind me to live each day without regrets, to be kinder, softer + to love more fully.
Today my Grandma Webb’s turns 82 + I miss her more than I ever thought possible.
My heart is heavy. I didn’t sleep well last night. Ironically, neither did Jon. Neither did Jonah. Neither did Riggins. We all ended up in our bed, naturally. We were all a bit testy this morning, but I was in denial about it. Jonah pushed the heaviest of the kitchen chairs down the stairs + I blamed it on the weather when I called Jon in tears? But no, it was not the snow’s fault. One of my closest friends explained to me that when someone is rude to your or lashes out at you, it is most likely because they are hurting inside. Today this was the case. I miss my Grandma so much it hurts. I miss her big glasses + her perfectly manicured nails. I miss the way she would change her voice when she was being sarcastic or the way she would put her head down when she went really fast in her jazzy. I miss seeing her name pop up on my phone at 4:45 every day. I had to put her on my “five faves” phone plan, which meant that I could talk to her for as long as I wanted because she would send me over my minute limit otherwise. She taught me that the little things do indeed matter, that relationships define who we are + that everyone deserves to be happy. Our relationship left me changed. I remember being completely shocked at her funeral when I wasn’t the only one that she shared this very intimate, unconditional bond with. She had a heart made of gold + enough room for everyone in her life. She made everyone feel special. Which teaches me a valuable lesson in the kind of light I want to be for my friends, my family + my own children. How often do I take the time to let my people know how I feel about them? Charity never faileth! I know that Grandma is near. I can feel of her love. Although she took a good piece of my heart when she left this life, I am eternally grateful for the knowledge I have that I will be with her again someday. Death is one of the most heart-wrenching, hardest blessings to understand in this life. It hurts in such a way that is too intense for words. It really doesn’t seem fair. But I believe with all of my heart that God knows exactly what he is doing. He is so infinitely good. He loves each of us with the purest love there is!
I love your post! I was a sophomore when you were a senior at Sky View. I took care of your grandma while she was at the Logan Nursing Home. Honestly, so many patients came and went that I don’t remember most of them. But I will always remember your Grandma. She was so sweet to me when I had I bad day. I loved her because even though she was struggling with own problems, she took the time that day to console me and make my day brighter! She was wonderful and so are you! So thankful for eternal families!
@connaripplinger – – – oh my word. your comment means the world to me. it brought tears to my eyes. thank you so so much for sharing your memory of my grandma webb. she had this magic way of making everyone feel that they were very very important. i am so glad that you had the opportunity to take care of her when she was here! thank you!! i’m sure she things just as highly of you + is smiling down on both of us right now. xx