Last night we attended Merilee’s book launch for PLAYFUL + it was exactly what I needed as a mother.
We go to the library every Wednesday at 10 am. This week we ran into some bumps + couldn’t make it on time so we ended up at the 11 AM class with the older kids. More craft time, less singing time. One of the mothers pointed out about half way through “Your kids don’t like to color????!?! That’s so unfortunate. We have to hide the crayons at our house or that’s ALL they would do. It’s amazing.” I cried myself home. You’re telling me that because I don’t love to craft, my kids are doomed?? I mean, I did cheat my way through 6th grade art class by using my best friend’s pictures from the previous semester + never again took another art class. But I guess I’ve always justified my thinking by telling myself that coloring is for older kids.
Now that I’ve thrown myself under the bus, back to my library thoughts. This sweet lady had no idea what kind of day I was having + I’m sure she didn’t mean for her comment to make me feel like it did. But she also didn’t know that I was fighting tears + had already contemplated selling both Jonah + Riggy to the circus (2 FOR 1!!) three times that day. Sweet gal had no clue my car died, we were stranded without a phone all morning: that being the reason we were attending the later class. She didn’t know how many crappy things had happened + how relieved I was once we made it to the library. Already feeling about 3 inches tall as a mother, that comment completely flattened me. Making everything else going on instantly THAT much worse. The perfect lesson for me of being kind to everyone because we are ALL fighting hard things. It was a good reminder to choose my battles as a mother. To relish in the things I do well vs the things I’m not very good at. That doesn’t mean that I’m perfect + it doesn’t mean comments like that don’t make me feel bad, but it definitely doesn’t mean I’m a bad mother. Why is it so easy to forget that in the moment when your world seems like it’s going to shut down at any moment + how do we get to the point where it doesn’t effect us so negatively? I’ll tell you my thoughts.
Coloring isn’t their thing. It’s fine. My boys prefer to rip the paper from the crayons + are more fascinated by the paint water changing colors than putting it onto paper. They love to climb our rock climbing wall + ride their bikes in the driveway. They would swing allll at the park or play imaginary baseball all afternoon long. Jonah has been leaving little thank you notes every where we go lately + Riggy snuggles when he wakes up from a nap. That’s artsy, right? 🙂 It’s easy to relish in the qualities we lack as parents or the things our children aren’t super good at yet. The comparison game is such a bitty. But when we play it, we are selling ourselves short. Not fair to us, not fair to our kids. Each child is so unique, so special + needs so deeply to be loved. They belong to us on purpose. I have to ask myself how they feel would feel if they knew that the reason why I don’t want to go back to big kid reading time is because their mom is scared what people will think when they are breaking the crayons in the corner? They’d laugh. Lets get real!
Control what you can control + be done with the rest.
I love this print by Mer! Lets not take our insecurities out on our kids. Pick + choose your battles. Embrace + love your children for who they are! KNOW WHO YOU ARE — know who they are. Jon always tells me that 90% of the time when we get offended by something someone says, it’s because maybe there is a little truth behind it? Take negative comments + let them help you become better. This book could not have come into my life at a better moment. I am anxious to put a new twist on art with the boys. So far the paint dotters are working wonders + we’re all walking a little bit taller. 🙂 BABY STEPS! Merilee poured her heart + soul into these pages + if WE can handle these crafts, anyone can. No doubt!
We are way harder on ourselves than we need to be. But realizing that is half the battle, right? Your boys clearly adore you, so you know you’re doing LOTS of stuff right. Coloring is highly over rated anyway… 😉 sending lots of love your way and hoping today is better than yesterday. Xo
I am laughing so hard right now! Ginger! This exact thing just happened to me last night at the USU volleyball game. I was sitting by a friend and her two boys, when she pulled out her crayons and said “my boys will color the WHOLE game, its awesome! Do your boys want to play?” I just laughed at her a little and told her that my kids don’t like to color. She was so shocked! (and I could tell she was judging me a little) I sat there wondering if I was a bad mom, or if my kids weren’t normal. I was judging how good of a mom I was by how much my kids color! What?!?! Her kids sat there nicely and colored, and my kids were off throwing a ball! I finally realized that it’s ok. My kids are unique. I provide my kids with opportunities to be creative, and I’m doing my best. And galldarnit, if my kids would rather throw a baseball or ride their scooter, then so be it! Also, I’m pretty sure our kids would get along great! 😉
I hate the comparison game. Good for you to see the positive!! I probably would have cried too. The sad part is she probably didn’t realize how hurtful her words were and this is such a great reminder that we need to be careful because everyone is fighting their own battles! You are such a brilliant little Mama and I seriously hope some of your light rubs off on me somehow 🙂
Props to you for taking your kids to the library! I’m a total home body– not because I don’t like to go out. But I am so scared of being in public with my kids alone. So many unwarranted silly fears, so I get down on myself all the time for being a “bad” mom. But my kids get just as many hugs and kisses as everyone else (maybe more) and they seem to love me all the same. They are the best non judgers I know and someday we will venture out to the library alone. When someone makes you feel less of a great mom just tell them your kids love you the most! 😄
oh. my word. what makes us say things before we think about them? whatever it is, i’d personally like to have mine removed yesterday. i want to hug that mama so hard. and remind her that it would be okay if her kids didn’t love to color. and that whatever is making her feel the need to point it out isn’t as big of a deal as it feels right now. and theeeen i want to drive all the way to your house and hug you. for being the kind of mama that cries all the way home because that’s how seriously you take your gig. you aren’t messing around in this mom department GP, you’re going for gold. and, i think this is your year. not because your kids aren’t the coloring kind, but because you get up every morning and give them your heart. your real, honest, breakable if it gets hurt too hard, heart. you’re showing them real life and letting them take the parts they want, even if you take the hit on library mornings. what else is more important than that? i love you. even more than yesterday, which was hard to top. xo.
you’re the cutest thing. i hope you know how amazing and what an example you are to me! you are so good at being so positive!!
You’re the sweetest Ginger! And rest assured my kids DO NOT always like to craft. I’m the one more obsessed with it but I do try to make it something we can do together at times and trust me, each kids loves and hates different aspects of it (oh and my kids didn’t start getting into coloring until about 6+ years and really my 8 yr old still insn’t as into is as my younger son is). Pick and choose and know you are a rock star mom!
Morgan —- Thank you so much for that reminder. It’s so easy to forget if you don’t keep pounding it into your head all day long. Isn’t being a mom such a rollercoaster? 🙂 Adore you girl. Thanks for being so thoughtful. xx
ERIN —- hahahaha how amazingly AWESOME is it that we had the same experiences in different settings?? I am so glad to know that I’m not alone + that I’m not crazy. Haha! It’s all about the ball!! Can we please be nieghbors? Jonah would be so excited to swim in your pool + play ball in the driveway + ride their scooters up to grandma’s house!! If we ever move up to Smithfield, we’re buying the house next door to you! You’re the best. Thanks for sharing your story with me. I really loved reading it! You’re the greatest. Thanks so much, Erin! xx
You have no idea how much I needed this today! At my little guy’s 6 month check up yesterday I felt guilty when my pediatrician said he isn’t rolling over like he should so he will be a late crawler – and I felt so guilty that I might not be a good mom because of it! Your post has reminded me to focus on what he IS good at – sitting up and being able to stand up with only help balancing! Writing this comment has made me realize how I feel like I was worrying about nothing – my baby will do things as he is ready and just because he might not be “by the book” compared to other kids does not mean something is wrong with him! Rock on mama you are doing a great job with your boys – I can tell your boys feel so loved, which is most important in my book (and God’s)!