if there is one thing i do right as a mother,
it is to take my children to logan once a week to play with their grandpa.

he celebrated his 50th birthday last week.
over the hill, baby.
we used it as an excuse to put obnoxious signs all over the yard.
jonah scored the honors of waking him up at 6 am + inviting him to his surprise birthday breakfast.
this might be the only birthday secret i haven’t blown the cover off of. i’m pretty proud.
it worked out perfectly!

i’m forever grateful that he taught me about fatherhood at such a young age.
his example showed me exactly what to look for in a husband,
+ i cherish the relationship he shares with jon.
dad taught me how to work hard, be honest + to do what’s right.
he supported me in everything that i did while growing up + would do anything for me now.
he doesn’t need to be praised for all of the little things that he does for everyone.
he goes the extra mile whether it’s noticed or not.
he loves my mom, he loves his family, he loves the gospel + he loves sports! {in no particular order}

this grandpa is the best underdoggin’ swinging partner in the history of cool grandpas.
dad lives for his grandkids.
he is the king of slurpee runs, playing catch, making music, sneaking ice cream + never going to bed on time.
i mean, who would have kept the four wheeler around for all these years if he weren’t here?

happy birthday, dad.
i love you more than a few silly words can describe.
it is an honor being your daughter.

we had a busy week + didn’t gram all that much.
we did lots of hair. {i miss hair}
rang in grandpa’s 50th with a big fat surprise party.
got to see dannika on her last weekend home.
dolled up the young women with a shellac manicure night.
played + played + played with aunties.
had 3 sleepovers with gramma + grampa while dad worked his trade show.
celebrated homecoming with mo at SVHS.

grandma has been in heaven for a little over a year and a half.
i still miss her every day.
i know that she was very near on jonah’s birthday.

when i first moved out of my parents house, i didn’t have a lot of kitchen gadgets to my name.
back then, i wasn’t as in to stocking my future kitchen as i was my current closet.
naturally, moving out taught me a lot about myself.

i got a call from grandma one day saying she needed my help with a project she was working on.
she didn’t really need help.
she had cleaned out her cupboards and filled box after box for me to take to my new home.
she sent me home with a brand new kitchenaid mixer, silverware, tuppereware,
frozen cookiedough, her handwritten cookbooks, this-n-that,
and container of sprinkles that has forever changed my life.

grandma claimed that sprinkles were her happiness.
she guaranteed me that day that if i would sprinkle a few sprinkles on whatever i ate for breakfast,
i would have a day full of happiness and joy.
regardless of whether she used this trick in her daily life or just told me it
because she knew it would help me get through this new transition,
it has been stuck in my heart ever since.

grandma taught me to be grateful for my life, and to be embrace who i am.
i am a better person, a better daughter, and a better mom because of her.
she chose to live a life built on genuine relationships and sincere happiness despite of all her health issues.
i know that she took care of little jonah before he got here,
+ i can’t wait for the day where we are all together again!
i can totally picture her singing her special rendition of happy birthday with i love you on the end.

driving to gold’s gym yesterday morning, with every single intention of working out.
that gym pass that i mentioned 6 months ago, ya it’s still active and only been used twice.
not only is it a gym pass, it’s a VIP pass with full day care.
most of my gym mama colleges are jumping for joy.
we drove all the way to the bountiful location in the truck. it kind of feels more like a 16 wheeler.
the bountiful gym is more appealing than the sugar house one so it’s worth the drive.
irrelevant sidenote: jon took my car to work because the honda currently resides in our driveway without a bumper.

when we pulled in i looked in my rear view mirror and jonah was dead asleep.
i couldn’t do it!
i just c o u l d  n o t do it, you guys.
what is wrong with me? dropping him off at any day care almost killllls me.
will it ever get easier? i swear something is wrong with me.
it’s whatever.
the place is like the ultimate glorified nursery, sanitized better than a hospital,
and the darling lady that run the show walked straight out of parenting magazine.
just a bit more darling + real as real can be.
not to mention she loves jonah.
but i couldn’t do it today.
i whipped a 92 point turn about and got right back on the freeway.
maybe i’ll try again tomorrow. or something.

next thing i know, i’m in mah work out clothes
at city creek baby gap,
without a stitch of make up and this song comes on.

i lost it. i had the the ugly cry goin’ for a good three minutes.

“have you ever looked fear in the face and said i just don’t care?”

once in a while without warning a song will interrupt my life
and take me back to a place in time that i had almost forgotten about.
this time it was so quick, i barely knew what hit me.

//  i miss you sue. i’m sorry that i had to miss your reception.
this song always makes me think of you, and i love you more than words can describe.
you were the happiest bride i have ever seen in my whole life.

//  jonah is growing up so fast. he can run faster than me on my knees,
and puts his own books back on the shelf.

//  jon is officially taking monday’s off so we can hang out after long working weekends away from home.

// web school is owning me.

//  is it time to have another babe?

//  i miss morgan who i never get to see. like ever.

//  it’s homecoming week everywhere, and i just want to be a cheerleader again.
whaaaaat? ya i just admitted that out loud. in ink. in public. judge me!

//  my dad turns 50 tomorrow and all i want to do is drive to logan + surprise him.

i have so much to be grateful for + obvi many things to cry about.

i apologize for being emo.
the unknown has always scared me.
i have a buch of new adventures on my plate and quite frankly i’m scared out of my mind.
i guess it’s time to chuck a couple of fistfuls of glitter in the air.

here’s to fear. here’s to being brave. here’s to finding happiness along the way.

i have 52 boards on pinterest.
my start up disk keeps blinking full.
i am in the middle of two different books.
i can’t close the ‘junk drawer’ without holding down receipts from i don’t know what + a lorax mustache.
i have four deoderants in which i claim i use all of them.
3 different sets of shampoo + conditioner in my shower.
the 36′ balloon from jonah’s birthday is still dangling under his highchair.
i have two cases of shoes under my bed, that haven’t been touched for six months or more.
there are three buckets of cleaning supplies from our wedding all in our cleaning closet.

breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe

last week my mom helped me box up of all of jonah’s clothes that he has grown out of.
i’m convinced that that is what queued this landslide mindslide anxiety attack.
because it is getting worse with each passing minute.
i went to restore my new phone + deleted the back up immediately after putting it on.

something about this fresh lifestyle, ‘minimalist’ attitude, and organization has never ever ever felt better.

i am currently in day 4 of my css workshop, and you guys, i can barely breathe.
like i’m drowning in my own stuff.
i haven’t done the school thing for a couple of years now,
and with all of this on my plate, focusing is about as easy as level 35 of papertoss.
send help!

tonight i started with my laptop + desktop.
i just spent the last hour and a half trying to organize my pinterest account, and i haven’t made a dent.
this week has officially been dubbed operation squeaky clean.
jonboy helped me schedule it out to one room per day.
although i had to promise not to paint every single thing in sight a crisp shade of white.
the prize at the end, because i’m sure you’re dying to know –
family pictures with my all time favorite photographer.
holy crapola is it next sunday yet?
wish me luck.

oh instagram – you rock our world.
i have been asked a few different times lately which app i use to edit my picts.

my honest opinion – – it doesn’t matter what app you use!
they all do pretty much the same job. brighten sharpen + crop.
the real key, which is no secret at all, is natural light.
all nat-u-ral baby. embrace it.
if you have good light to work with, you’ll be happy with any editing app you use.

but for the record – – i love the photoshop express app + vsco cam.
square ready pro if i want a white background and don’t want it zoomed in.
feel free to share your favorites if you got em.

there is something magical about simplicity.
something even more magical when the simplest moments are caught on camera.

i have absolutely fallen in love with blogging.
i love being able to document these simple moments in our life so that we can remember them at any given time.

blogging has helped me to be more me.
challenged me to step outside of my comfort zone,
and helped me be honest with who i am, who my family is, and what we believe.

to tell you the truth, honesty didn’t exactly come easy for me.
i always wished it did, but it didn’t.
it was a lesson learned again + again when i was younger.
a lesson that molded me to something i never would have been without it.

fast forward to now //
i am a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter in law, an aunt, a young women leader, and i am a friend.
i am happier than i have ever been.

oh what a special day for collins!

we were all together. every single one of us.
dan + cara drove up from school to be there.
it was fun to get to know cara, and it was a treat having dan home.
she takes such a unique attitude with her wherever she goes. it’s completely contagious.
she is a rockstar supermodel and i wish she didn’t live so dang far away.

cody + ashley are incredible parents.
they have been through so much, and they truly inspire me.
they make me want to be more patient and grateful.
ash made collins that darling little blessing dress.
along with her booties and headband.
she looked like a little angel.

jonah fell in love with the ice bucket, peeking into other baby’s car seats,
and just running wild and free.
i can’t get over how quickly he is growing up.
he is busy busy busy busy B U S Y busy.
it sure keeps me on my toes.
he recognizes gramma’s house
he is friends with bo
and he finds a ball every where we go!

i think it’s safe to say that the older our family gets
the more fun we have together.
(and that we are 100% addicted to polkadots and stripes)
this labor day weekend was no exception.
in fact, i feel pretty safe in calling it my favorite weekend of the year.